Self-loathingly tinker with our poorly-drafted fantasy football team.ħ. Pretend to listen to a girl tell us why this is actually a deep love story and not the fancy version of the BDSM story we're reading online at 5 minute intervals.Ħ. Participate in our fantasy football draft.Ĥ. Watch Stripes, Knocked Up, 40 Year Old Virgin, The Whole Nine Yards or any other movie starring a lovable loser who gets the girl despite being as average at sex as he is average looking. Prepare for our fantasy football draft.ģ. Spend one-twelfth of the time watching the "good scenes" online.Ģ.
#50 SHADES OF GRAY EMMA WHATSON MOVIE#
Here's a list of things guys would rather do than sit through a two hour movie about a rich, handsome guy-seducing a virginal girl:ġ. I process my thoughts through typing, and two paragraphs was my best effort in convincing myself that you were worth $34.* But you're not. With the right persuasive techniques, a girl could convince me that you're worth $4.99 for the HD On Demand purchase via Time Warner Cable, which is oddly a preferable option to walking a few blocks to the Red Box (there's something incriminating about holding an actual DVD). The main reason? This movie simply doesn't have Lolita appeal because it's not 1962. Sorry, Emma, this really isn't your fault. But what about men? I've written in the past about how men can't enjoy Fifty Shades because it falls under "girl world" parameters, just like Twilight. If there's one thing Twilight taught us about young female readers, it's that they translate exponentially into young female viewers. I think I get it. Emma Watson pranced about for eight films as Hermione, the geekily conservative member of an underaged, MMF threesome. We watched her grow up like a cinematic "girl next door" as her looks were like slowly boiling water to viewers' froggy lust. Now she's up for the role of one of the most celebrated sexual awakenings seen in recent cliterature. Generally speaking, people like sex scenes in movies, but I'm not here to debate the morality of sexual voyeurism, artistic or otherwise. This is about Emma Watson and what she'd mean to this particular movie franchise. But will a previously unseen pair of breasts make guys go see Fifty Shades of Grey? Let's figure this out. Men get this, which is the main reason we like women showing their breasts on screen, the art of it all.
Source: 4) There are better BDSM books and movies out there! Source: Giphy.Emma Watson of Harry Potter fame said this about her willingness to do nude scenes if cast as Anastasia Steele in the, impending Fifty Shades of Grey Movie: “I've been saying since I was 16 that if it's the right role and important for character development and the story, then of course I'll do it.”įew film tactics reveal a character's essence more than revealing a character's breasts. Otherwise the scene would look like this.
Thank god they didn’t put the tampon scene in the movie. Her ‘ inner goddess‘ is more annoying that Janice (from F.R.I.E.N.D.S) saying ‘ Oh My God‘ on loop. 2) Anastasia Steele is a joke of a female protagonist. He really, really does! If I start talking about how controlling and emotionally damaging a boyfriend Christian Grey can be, I’ll really to have to write another blog (which no one will read).
#50 SHADES OF GRAY EMMA WHATSON SERIAL#
Find out why! 1) Christian Grey sounds more like a serial killer than the man of your dreams. But that does not change the fact that both the books and the movie sucked. I know it’s been awhile since the Fifty Shades trilogy came out and I also know that the movie is the highest grossing movie of 2015 as of now. Image Courtesy: Facebook/FiftyShadesOfGreyMove
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